Authors at Amazon
Dell Sweet On Amazon:
Andrea Scroggs on Amazon
Amazon’s Andrea Scroggs Page
After graduating high school Andrea Scroggs spent a few years traveling to places like Kenya, Japan,More about Andrea Scroggs
After graduating high school Andrea Scroggs spent a few years traveling to places like Kenya, Japan,More about Andrea Scroggs
Feb 2, 2017
Jul 7, 2016
Aug 4, 2015
Jan 26, 2016
Apr 6, 2017
More From Dell Sweet at Amazon Author Central
Introducing America The Dead from Dell Sweet, Geo Dell and Jay Watson…
THE ZOMBIE PLAGUES: BOOK 7
America The Dead The Zombie Plagues. The dead begin to rise faster and the world falls to them Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1549696831
America The Dead book 7: The Zombie Plagues. Show down with the dead as the living push back. Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DCFSNMG
ZOMBIE FALL BOOK 6
Zombie Fall For some there is safety but to keep the safety some must sacrifice and risk everything Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1549697129
America The Dead book 6: Zombie Fall: A supply trip nearly spells the end for the Nation Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DCG6WR8
WAR AT HOME 2
The group of survivors looking for peace and a place to rebuild comes closer to what they seek Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1549697315
America The Dead book 5: War at Home 2. The survivors are on the road looking for safety Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DCF3KHE
WAR AT HOME 1
In a top secret facility a virus is created that brings on the #Zombie Paperback from Amazon Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/154970415X
America The Dead book 4: War At Home 1. The end comes, few are ready, fewer still survive Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DCPQ1IO
America The Dead Manhattan, The city is a landscape of gangs and the risen dead. The living are safe nowhere Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1549704303
America The Dead book 3: Manhattan. The city falls to the plague. A group of survivors fight their way out. Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DCF3WI6
America The Dead Los Angeles. A couple finds there way through the deconstruction and death of L.A. Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1549704419
America The Dead book 2: Los Angeles. The city of L.A. is shaken, Beth and Billie find their way out Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DCFSPHO
BEGINS THE END
America The Dead Begins the end. A series of events begins that will bring all of society to its knees Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1549704559
America The Dead Book 1: Begins the end. A small New York town hosts the beginning of the end Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DAIPT54
I built this multi use machine today:
This is not a thrifty build, but it isn’t super expensive either. I put this machine together over the last few days. Everything is recycled parts, if I can get it, new if I can’t.
I started with an HP 1343W. I had that machine from a few years back when my own machine quit on a Friday night and I had no choice but to get a Walmart replacement. I asked the salesman, maybe he was all of ten, if it could be upgraded, motherboard, memory, etc. He assured me it could. It’s not like I could pop the case lid right there in the store and see if he was right.
Long story short he was wrong. Probably didn’t know so he fell back to the best sales position… “Yes! Yes it can be upgraded and it can mash potatoes too, sir.”
It became a door stop a few days later when I ordered a real machine from Amazon. I know, I should have taken it back. When I popped the lid I found a Mini ITX board. No slots. Soldered in Processor (Atom @ 1.6 GHZ) maxed memory and not even a power supply in the case, but a 50 watt converter/circuit board. The case, as you can imagine was pretty much empty.
After life as a doorstop I had to build a machine for someone who needed a very small machine in a very small case. Good, the doorstop Mini ITX board found a home and did well. I set the case aside because you never know.
I have built several machines in the last month and one of them I ordered parts for needed a Mini ATX board. That board is much bigger than an ITX board. Anyway, the board showed up dead, the guy shipped another and I set the board next to the old case. When I did I noticed that the Hewlett Packard case had been setup to use many different types of boards. That was all it took, my Dr. Frankenstein mind kicked in and began looking closer.
I saw that not only could it take up to an ATX board it could also handle a full size power supply, and that power supply could be installed in two different spots. Nice. Dr. Frankenstein was happy.
I order a gaming power supply, 650 watt, an nVidia hardcore 1 gig 5300 card. I love these full size cards. They were built for CAD operations a few years ago and sold for close to three grand then, now they are $30.00 to $40.00 bucks. I have a smaller one, a 4600 in my 8 core machine that I use to build video games. You can’t kill them. They are awesome.
I ordered 4 gig of 800 MHZ ram, an LGA 775 Intel main board, a 650 gig HD, a 360 gig drive, a DVD (All Sata) and a few parts to finish it up. I did the separate drives because it does make a difference in speed with a smaller primary drive.
I put it all together today and booted it up. Installed Windows on the main smaller drive, then rebooted and installed Linux Ubuntu 16 on the big drive. Awesome. Very fast with an Intel 3.0 GHZ dual core and the 4 gig of main memory. It is upgradable to 8 gig of main and it will accept a quad core at 3.3 GHZ.
All in I have about $95.00 bucks in it and it is plenty fast and will handle writing, game building, music apps and anything else I want to throw at it. I did upgrade the fans and I used Red LED for a pull fan under that custom front cover. Looks cool, and I have another fan on the way that will go in the back to continue to pull the air out.
Three hours today of software and updates and it stayed completely cool. The Processor cooler is aluminum finned and a fan. Works very well…
Hope I inspired you to find something of your own to build…
Get it free right now! https://www.amazon.com/Earths-Survivors-Collection-Five-Sweet-ebook/dp/B06XGQXV8Q
Earth’s Survivors Apocalypse:
Earth’s Survivors Apocalypse follows survivors of a worldwide catastrophe.
A meteorite that was supposed to miss the earth completely, hits and becomes the cap to a series of events that destroy the world as we know it. Police, fire, politicians, military, governments: All gone. Hopes, dreams, tomorrows: All buried in a desperate struggle to survive.
From L.A. To Manhattan the cities, governments have toppled and lawlessness is the rule. The dead lay in the streets while gangs fight for control of what is left. Small groups band together for safety and begin to leave the ravaged cities behind in search of a future that can once again hold promise.
Los Angeles: Billy and Beth start out with a small group and wind up on their own as they make their way across America trying to find others and safety.
Manhattan: Adam leaves the safety of his apartment to find his way out of the dying Manhattan, gathering others as he makes his way.
Old Towne New York: Conner is alone for the first few weeks, but then he finds Katie and a reason to live again. They set out to survive and find much more than survival.
Watertown New York: Mike Collins goes to sleep thinking about his first vacation in many years that he will start in the morning. He awakens to destruction.
Follow the people that survive and set out to rebuild their lives. At first hoping only to make it day by day, but ultimately looking to the future and rebuilding a society where fear does not rule…
Get it free right now! https://www.amazon.com/Earths-Survivors-Apocalypse-Dell-Sweet-ebook/dp/B00YDAXFLE
Plastic Wrap, Dishwashers and other irritants…
Plastic wrap is one of those inventions that didn’t quite make it all the way to where it claims to have made it. Yes, on the TV you will see overpaid, starved models whip that stuff off the roll and cover just about anything: A bowl of leftovers, a piece of cake or grandpa sleeping in a chair. In Fried Green Tomatoes whats-her-name covered herself in it and answered the door. Heck, you see movies where the bad guys run it over the victims mouth and that’s it for them. In real life none of that is going to work, I know, I have tried most of it, except grandpa and the movie stuff, and the wife stuff. Okay, I have only tried the food applications and none of them worked.
I have stood for ten minutes waiting to get enough off the roll in one piece to cover that piece of cake only to have it come undone and fall to the floor on the way to the fridge. And It was work to get it of the roll. The serrated edge? Junk, doesn’t work at all. It comes off torn, at an angle, the tube lifts out of the box and you find yourself holding the plastic wrap roll and nothing else. I hate the stuff. Somebody needs to fix it or send it to the Chinese.
Dishwashers belong in that same group. A product that falls short of the hype and promises. Every day I find myself washing breakfast/lunch and dinner dishes, rinsing them and then putting them in the dishwasher. What? Do I really do that? Yes I do and in fact you are told to pre-wash the dishes and depending on what that means to you, you might as well have a towel so you can then dry them and put them away instead of putting them in the dishwasher to essentially let them get sprayed with hot water and soap so they can then go through a sixteen hour wash cycle (I say that because I don’t care when I started the damn dishwasher, it is on and burning me whenever I am in the shower) then they can sit overnight and dry, ha ha ha. In the morning you take them out and rewash the ones you didn’t pre-wash well enough when you put them in, only now that stuff is heated on. Or you could wait until you have company and let them spot the bad ones for you.
Electric cars are not where they should be. They are supposed to go in the garage, plug in to charge up and drive a long time. Instead they last a few hundred miles. If they get hit hard enough they become an instant bio hazard or worse you do. And when they run out of juice you are not getting some gas and a jump to get you going again. Short out the batteries and you have a steel framed car that will fry you in a few seconds.
Items on eBay marked: “I really don’t know if the item works so I’m selling it as is” Ha, let me translate that. It should read: “I looked at the item and realized it was junk, so I said to my wife/husband, Honey? Let’s try to sell this on eBay.”
People who look at guitars and say “What’s that thingy do?”
People who look at computers and say “What’s that thingy do?”
Tinfoil: For some reason no matter how often I have reached into the oven and burned myself on tinfoil I immediately convince myself it didn’t happen. That must be the case because every time I am cooking something with foil I reach in there and grab it like it just has to be cool and then I burn the crap out of myself.
That is my Wednesday, hope your Wednesday is better, 🙂
Book One: The Original Survivors: From Ashes. The survivors face the apocalypse head on
Book Two: The Original Survivors: On The Road. Some who have survived are on the road looking for safety
Book Three: The Original Survivors: Alabama Island. Follow a group of survivors through the beginning of the end
Book Four: The Original Survivors: Bluechip. The story of how the apocalypse began
This book is available for download with iBooks on your Mac or iOS device, and with iTunes on your computer. Books can be read with iBooks on your Mac or iOS device.
Earth’s Survivors box set contains the entire Earth’s Survivors series in one volume.
Book One: Apocalypse.
Earth’s Survivors Apocalypse follows survivors of a worldwide catastrophe. A meteorite that was supposed to miss the earth completely, hits and becomes the cap to a series of events that destroy the world as we know it. Hopes, dreams, tomorrows: All buried in a desperate struggle to survive. Small groups band together for safety, leaving the ravaged cities behind in search of a new future…
Book Two: Rising From The Ashes.
Earth’s Survivors Rising From The Ashes continues to follow the survivors of a worldwide catastrophe. From L.A. To Manhattan the cities, governments have toppled and lawlessness is the rule. The small groups are growing, branching out in search of a new future. It chronicles their day to day struggles as well as their dreams as they search out new hope in their shattered world…
Book Three: The Nation.
This part of the story really concentrates on the formation of The Nation and the people who will build it and carry it forward, but it also brings along the side story of The Fold and the people who will build that haven. It gives a more complete picture of Adam and Cammy, and picks up the Tale of Billy and Beth, Mike and Candace, Conner and Katie as they work to sort out their lives.
Book Four: Home The Valley.
Home in the valley concentrates on the building of the first and most important settlement of The Nation. The valley settlement is where the people that run the Nation will come from. They will rise to leadership positions across the former United States. The first supply trip out for the Nation nearly turns to disaster, and more of the separate parties join and become one under the Nation Flag.
Book Five: Plague.
Plague outlines the sudden rise of the dead, chronicling the spread across the country. It follows Adam, Beth, Billy and Pearl as they head north looking for an antidote that can bring the plagues to end. It also sees the first babies born to the Nation, the formation of both the Fold and Alabama Island, and the loss of one of the founders of The Nation without whom the Nation may dissolve…
Book Six: Watertown.
Major Weston read the report twice and then carefully set it back on his desk. Johns or Kohlson: One of the two had stolen samples of SS-V2765. It was not a question. No one else had the access, no one else the proximity or knowledge of where it was stored. Two of the virus, one each of the REX agents were missing. Enough to infect several million people, and that was just the initial infection…
Book Seven: World Order.
This book steps back to the beginning to bring you the story of the Fold. Jessie Stone, why and how Snoqualmie settlement came to be. It begins in present day and then falls back in time to the beginning of the Apocalypse. The Fold becomes the biggest challenger to the Nations power. The community that can force the Nation into compromise, or bring a war that may destroy both societies…
All seven books in one collection. Follow the survivors as they struggle to survive in a vastly changed world, where the living are just as likely to kill you as the dead are.
The release of this box set puts the series to an end. I have enjoyed writing it, I hope you have enjoyed reading it, Dell Sweet.
Get the Earth’s Survivors box set at iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/earths-survivors-box-set/id1154467599?mt=11
EARTH’S SURVIVORS I-Tunes: Apocalypse, free eBook…
This is copyright protected material. It is used with permission
Copyright © 2017 Dell Sweet
Carl Evans watched from the mouth of a dark alley. It was one of the things he loved about this place. You could hang out in an alley, smoke cigarettes all day and night long if you wanted to, and nobody said a word to you. Where else, but New York could that be true, he asked himself.
He leaned back against the wall, one sneakered foot propped on the brick behind him to hold him, the other flat on the cobbled stones of the alley. Another thing about New York, he thought as he inhaled deeply of his cigarette, and then let the smoke roll slowly out of his mouth. Old things everywhere you looked. These cobblestones for instance. He wondered how old they truly were.
“Young man.” The deep voice startled him from his thoughts. He lifted his head to see an old, gray haired gentleman standing at the mouth of the alley a few feet away. His face was creased and seamed. His skin so dark it was nearly blue. A cane in one hand supported his weight.
“What’s up, Pops?” Carl asked politely.
The man placed his second hand on his cane and leaned forward. “That cigarette will kill you. “
He held up one hand as Carl began to speak. “Just telling you. Don’t need an argument. It will kill you. The big tobacco’s, they knew about it back in the day when I was a boy chasing that habit. And they knew about it when it was in commercials in magazines, and T.V. and what not. That cowboy died from it you know, they knew it and they still know it. It will kill you. In case you didn’t know it I wanted you to know it.” He straightened his back, lifted the second hand, nodded once, and moved across the mouth of the alley disappearing as though from some sort of magic.
Carl chuckled, lifted the cigarette to his mouth, took a deep drag and then found himself blowing the smoke out, dropping the cigarette, and crushing it. The old man had ruined it for him. He hadn’t smoked in ten years, but it tasted as good now as it had then. And he had figured with the way things were nobody had much time. Certainly not enough time to die from cancer or some other nasty surprise from cigarettes, but just the same the old man had ruined it for him.
He looked down at the blackened mess he had made as he ground the cigarette into the cobbles. Just as well, he told himself, it was time. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small silver canister. He inhaled a sharp breath involuntarily. He knew what it was. Knew what he was doing, but he still couldn’t believe he was actually going to do it.
He fingered the small red button on the top of the silver canister, hesitated, and then pushed it down. Something inside clicked. There was no other sound in the stillness. He tossed it down the alley, turned, and walked out to the sidewalk.
Get this FREE eBook right now at iTunes: https://goo.gl/8Gdhxd
Posted By Dell Sweet 06-29-17
The weekend is creeping up on me. I think someone stole a few days and tried to slip one over on me. Or I would, except it really is Thursday. The image is a herd of deer in my side yard. There were actually about eight of them when I first spotted them.
I would like to mention the book Zero Zero. I wrote this book some time ago, as in years, and it is only now available. I write an end of the world book series, Earth’s Survivors, and this book is in the same vein. Different, but I think equally good. I mean that.
I was talking about this place today with someone today. How it did not start out to be an indie publishing vehicle, but simply an outlet for my own digital book copies. Now there are nine writers here and I doubt it will stop there.
I guess we don’t say much about ourselves so maybe now is a good time to do that. We are all writers. This site was first started to create a space for Writers, Musicians and Artists. We have many of each and many who do all of those things. One thing I have come to realize is that creative people wear many hats, not just one or two.
None of us own the site, but three of us work here fulltime. Yes that makes it nice, we get to write as we write. In fact it is encouraged. The owner is not a writer or a musician or an Artist. She enjoys all three things and many others though and so she gave us this and allowed us to develop it and build it. That did not happen the way some of us saw it happening.
I can’t speak for the others but I saw a site where writers, artists and musicians all hung out and marketed their work. Now we have a site where all those things have occurred. The writers, musicians and artists are here, we talk all day sometimes, back and forth, give advice or work on projects, etc. If someone asks me to help, I do. I wrote two of my most successful short stories that way. One of the other writers wanted to publish an anthology and wanted some of my work in it. Something new. Something different. Okay. I offered Zombie Fall and Rapid City. Neither of those stories would have happened if I had not been in that creative process with others.
There are top grade musicians here. I do my own music. I used to play in bands years ago. But I have not stuck with it: Although I love it I have too many other obligations on my time. So I have turned to other musicians to catch up on the new technology, so to speak, because three of my characters in the Earth’s Survivors books write music and I want to be able to provide that music on the website as it evolves.
My point is that the creative processes here are really good. They help all of us to be better at what we do, and in some cases write things we would not have written, and, the big deal, it is not what we had planned to build here. And it continues to grow. I couldn’t be happier and I’m glad to be a small part of it too.
I believe I mentioned before that I am a tech wizard, well, at least in my own head, but, I am common sense stupid. Lacking, sadly, in that small area of the brain that says ‘What?’ or ‘Hey wait a second!’ Nope. My brain just says, ‘Yeah, go ahead, who cares,’ or, ‘Hey, it ain’t my problem, know what I mean?’
Here’s an example: I picked up a screwdriver yesterday that I had bought in case I needed it. Brilliant, because, six months after I bought it? I needed it. Brilliant. There is the brain in action. I did not have to go buy one, simply go get it and use it. But since I needed it I had to open it. Except it was packaged in that stiff, molded, welded-plastic stuff. You know, the stuff that was predicted to be gone soon because Walmart supposedly hated it? And because there were several injuries reported after trying to tear it open. Yes. That is the knowledge I had when I picked up the package, that it could hurt me. I think that is as far as my common sense thinking went because immediately my Brain said, ‘Yeah, may be, but it won’t hurt me.’ No explanation as to why it wouldn’t, just that it wouldn’t. And that is the problem with my lack of common sense. My dumb self went… ‘Okay’ and immediately began to try to rip the package open.
After ten minutes and two cuts I gave up and admitted that my brainiac self had duped me again, bandaged my two hurt fingers, thanked God I had not lost a limb, and marveled over why we don’t issue this to our soldiers. They could present it to the enemy… ‘Here. Enjoy this Swiss Army knife that you can use to stab me to death.’ Our Soldier Smiles at his enemy. The enemy looks suspicious, but I have found a lack of common sense is a pretty, well, common thing. Especially in undeveloped countries that don’t know what that stuff is. So he tries to open it and end up slicing himself all up. Great weapon. I’m sure it could work.
Eventually, with the help of a pair of scissors, I did get the screw driver out, but I cut myself once more because the edge where I had cut it was so sharp. And I wondered, because people who lack common sense often wonder about stupid things and I am no exception, what if you bought a pair of scissors encased in that crap? And you bought them because you had to have them to open that sort of packaging?. What could you do? Could you go back to the store and use a complimentary pair of scissors to cut open the packaging? Could you go get your carpenters knife (Razor Knife) and slice it open with that? (I did this once while holding the packaging on my lap. NOT Recommended.). Do you even have or own a Carpenter’s Knife? Could you run over it with the car and break the packaging? Nope. Doesn’t work. Nevertheless, I thought of all these things anyway. No, I decided, I would bend the package until the scissors popped through. That would work. So now I plan a trip to my local Walmart so I can buy a pair of scissors and try my theories. And once I get them open I’m going to run with them and see if that old wives’ tale is true. I mean, after all, how can it be dangerous if you don’t fall? I don’t plan to fall.
Well that’s my week. I hope your work week so far had some amusement in it for you as mine did. It’s a beautiful night here in New York, 68 degrees and low humidity. I just mowed the lawn a little while ago, so add the smell of freshly mowed grass to that. If I had a pond and a fishing pole I’d be all set, but I do have a chair and a porch and I think I’ll go watch the sunset. I like the way my characters in my books get to do that. They think of those things, maybe because they have lost so much. They take time to enjoy and appreciate those simple pleasures now. Enjoy the Week… Dell.
Take a look at Rising from the ashes…
EARTH’S SURVIVORS #prepper Rising From The Ashes: I-Tunes From L.A. To Manhattan lawlessness is the rule, eBook… https://goo.gl/xddmoT
Good morning to you all. It is Friday, you did make it through the work week and so you should be rewarded and congratulated for that. Unfortunately I’ll have to leave most of that up to your boss, wife, husband, friend, bartender, dealer, massage parlor worker, person who cleans your windshield and or changes your oil. But I can give you a free story this morning to help ease you into the weekend and free is always good 🙂
I have come to look at the extinction of the dinosaurs in a whole new light.
Over the last few years with Global Warming, or the natural earth cycle, whatever it is, the weather patterns have been crazy. Snow when there shouldn’t be snow. Rain where there never has been rain. No rain where there always has been. Golf ball size hail is common and baseball size is not unheard of in pretty much any weather disturbance.
Let me share this conversation I had with my neighbor, a few days back; … … …
“No… It wasn’t raining, it had finished raining, it was in between the end of raining and drying up. There were hardly any of those little plop things in the puddles.”
“Plop things,” I asked?
“Yeah, you know where the rain drop falls in and makes the little circle things that go out and… well they are sort of like little tiny waves, rolling across the surface of a tiny little ocean….” He got a faraway look in his eyes and fell silent.
“Uh, Bob?” his name is Bob.
“You kind of zoned out there,” I told him. “But I understand the thing about the plop… I think…” he started to speak. “No, I do. I do understand it completely.”
Bob nodded. “Good… It’s kind of hard to explain… Did you ever wonder if there’s tiny little life down there… you know and the mud puddle to them really is an ocean… and.” He looked up, smiled and cleared his throat. “Well, you know.”
“Uh… sure… Once or twice I think… So, uh, you were saying about the hail?”
In between us a raccoon that lived in the woods behind us lay dead… Presumably dead. I had not checked for a pulse or attempted mouth to mouth, but it had been hit in the head with a chunk of hail roughly the size of a hardball while crossing from Bob’s property to mine. Bob had seen the whole thing, come over and got me away from my typing long enough to come out and look at the raccoon and the chunks of ice that had fallen from the sky. I looked up now. Not entirely sure more wouldn’t fall. I was not a raccoon, but I was still sure a chunk of ice that big could probably kill me too.
“Yeah… Got me spooked too,” Bob said and looked up at the sky.
“So…” I asked looking back down.
“Yeah, well… So I was coming out of the shed, getting the pots for my spring plantings, sun has to shine eventually, and here comes Martha (Martha was his pet name for the Raccoon) probably thinking I had a treat for her. So I’m fixing to get the peanuts out of my pocket, I keep them for her… You know, they was on sale two years ago at the A&P so I bought three cases of them.” He seemed to lose himself for a moment.
“Yeah… The A&P does have some good deals,” I allowed. I was glad it was not me eating three year old peanuts.
“Oh yeah. Last week they had Captain Crunch… She likes that too… I didn’t have any Captain crunch in my…”
Martha farted and Bob jumped back three feet.
“God!” Bob declared. Nothing else happened for a few moments and Bob looked up at me. “You suppose?”
“Just a natural thing,” I said. It had made me jump too though. Not pleasant to think that after you pass you’ll still be passing. The thought almost made me laugh which Bob would have taken the wrong way so I bit it back and listened as he resumed talking.
He had bent down and picked up a large hardball sized chunk of ice. There were several close by her, but he fixed on the one. “So she’s coming and the rain’s letting up, and, well, did you know she don’t like the rain? I think most raccoons are like that. They don’t like the rain. So… Where was I?”
“The rain,” I said reluctantly. It had been my chance to speed it up by telling him he was telling me about the hail hitting her in the head and I had blown it.
“Right, the rain… Hmm… Oh,” he snapped his fingers, “That’s how I know it was done raining. She wouldn’t have come out other wise.”
Martha farted again.
Bob looked offended, but neither of us jumped this time. “You think she’s just gonna keep doing that,” Bob asked?
I shrugged… “Maybe,” I allowed.
“Whoooeee,” Bob said fanning his face.
I was down wind.
Bob shuffled a little sideways. “Must have been the Captain Crunch.” We both stood silent for a few moments, staring down at the dead, farting raccoon.
“So,” I said at last.
Bob looked puzzled.
“Uh, the hail…. The accident… Poor Mable,” I gestured at the dead raccoon.
“Oh… Oh…” Bob said. “Martha… It’s Martha,” Bob said.
“Sorry, Bob. Martha,” I repeated.
Bob Nodded. “Well, anyways, dropped right out of the sky and conked her right in the frigging’ head.” He nodded.
I nodded for him to continue.
“Oh… That’s it. Conked her in the head. Fell right down… Never said nothing after that. Not even a … a … Well, what ever a raccoon would say after getting hit with a chunk of ice.”
I nodded. Mister sympathy. Martha farted again. Bob made a face and shifted a little sideways.
“I suppose she would have said something like. Well, if racoons could talk. I know they can’t, I’m just saying, she might have said something like … ‘Son of a bitch that hurt!’ or ‘My God that was a big chunk of ice!’ but she never said a word at all. Just bang in the head and she dropped in her tracks… Just like you see her.” Martha farted once more as if to punctuate Bob’s words. “Had to be the Captain Crunch.,” Bob said quietly. “Well, anyhow,” Bob continued un-prompted, “Hail? Hail the size of a baseball? In Spring? Up here?” Bob was tossing the question marks around like he had a pocket full of them instead of peanuts.
I nodded. “I’ve never seen it,” I agreed. And I hadn’t in my fifty plus years of living in upstate New York.
“I been here all my eighty two years,” Bob said. “Never seen nothing’ like it… Hail the size of baseballs…”
Martha twitched, farted again and then raised her head slowly from the ground.
“Son of a bitch,” Bob said.
I muttered something a little more colorful.
Martha looked over at Bob, then swung her head around at me, managed to get her feet under her and wobbled a few steps.
“Son of a bitch,” Bob repeated. I must confess I repeated a few of those colorful words too.
Martha wobbled a few more times, let loose of one more long high-pitched fart, and then waddled over to Bob. Bob just stared down at her stupidly for a moment and then reached into his pocket and came out with a handful of lint covered peanuts. I stood and watched for a few moments as Bob fed her, but I hate to see old men cry so I kind of faded into the background. Besides, I’m pretty sure Bob forgot I was there.
My point is, global warming, or whatever it is, is ruining the world. Making it a tough place to live in. I envision the whole dinosaur extinction as going something like this. … … …
Fred the dinosaur is standing in his yard staring down at a tiny, dead little human. His buddy Ralph happens by.
Ralph: “So, what’s up there, Fred? Got your self a little meal there?”
Fred looks up and frowns. “No. It was my little friend,” He turns and points towards the cliffs a short way away. “Lives over there… Comes out every day or so… Likes those little furry things with horns?” He looks at Ralph and Ralph nods.
“I think they call them ‘Furry things with four feet,’” Ralph supplied.
It was Fred’s turn to nod. “Yeah, so, anyway, I keep one around, you know, they’re easy to catch. And I leave some for him…”
“And, “ Ralph prompted?
“And, the ice just fell out of the sky and bashed him in the head…”
“Well, you could eat him,” Ralph said. “Seems a waste to…”
The human rolled over, farted and looked up at Fred.
“Son of a bitch,” Fred said. “And you wanted to eat him.”
“Well… You could still eat him,” Ralph said.
“You make me sick sometimes,” Fred said. He shuffled over to the human, carefully helped him to his feet and steered him towards the pile of meat he had left for him.
“You know, just blue skying it here, Fred. But let’s suppose this whole weather thing is a … a … A harbinger of things to come? More bad weather? You know… What, Fred, If it’s the end for us? As a species!”
Fred strode across the short distance, flicked his tail and knocked Ralph off his feet. “You are over reacting, Ralph. Where do you get theses crazy ideas from?”
Ralph picked himself up, glancing over at the human who seemed to be amused by the whole situation. “Just repeating what they say. They say maybe our time is through and soon the world will be left to the humans. Imagine… Us extinct,” Ralph finished.
Fred laughed, a loud roar that caused the human to shrink back. “Nonsense! Humans take over the world? Where do you hear these things?”
And… That was probably it right there. The beginning, same as it is for us. Maybe two million years from now there will be a couple of cockroaches standing out in their adjoining yards. … …
“So, Darren, did you see that chunk of ice that dropped out of the sky?”
Hey, have a good weekend!
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